This is now more or less a dead journal.
My new journal is AdriannaSunrise. I should be easy to find. Send me a message on there reminding me who you are and I'll add you.
But not for long. I'm going to start something new. Anyone interested, just keep an eye on my page, I'll start a new account with some new goals pretty soon.
All the updates on life will be there.
This account has been dormant for too long. So I'm going to try again, with a new account and a big change.
Hope you'll ride this new road with me. =D
It's been almost a year since I've been on here.... I bet every one was wondering what in the world happened to me....
Sorry everyone. I'll try to do better, but there's no garenties. This is my senior year, so every one knows. ^.^
Ask me for other contact info if you want to. I'm on other sites more often, so it might be better to have it, if you don't already.
^.^ Guess I'm back again.
I haven't posted, but life has been hectic. I've not really kept up any where, well anyways.
My Cross Counrty is over, but the girls team got to State for the first time since 1993. 3 out of 5 people on the team were born that year. So that was cool.
Calculus is kicking me in the face, but not as badly as I thought it would... My jaw isn't broken yet, nor my nose.... So it must be going alright. Despite the grade I'm carrying in there. US History is also well. It's a really fun class, we talk about the news alot.
I'm doing better as a person. The estatic happiness I felt at the end of the summer was kinda killed when the source of all that vanished (kinda). But I'm less depressed now than I usually am, and my moods are balancing, less up and down.
I have re-renewed love of everything again. The sunset yesterday was fantastic, just absolutely beautiful. There will be an entire post deticated to it.
Anyways. I should get more sleep tonight, I got about half of what I should have last night, so maybe twice what I need will help out tonight.
I need to run,
But not just run
I need to get away.
I need to move
Until I can't anymore
And then run on.
Push through the
But better than this.
This is crushing
No one gets it.
No one can see
What I see, I wish
I could loan my eyes.
Step into my skin.
Feel the implosion
I'm loosing it.
My hold on
I don't want to go back.
That deep dark place
What option do
I have though?
An empty shell.
I've been there.
The slow well
Of red along
I've been there,
People can see that.
People can feel that.
But not this. too hard.
This is useless.
This painful Thrumming
Of my heart
Utterly out of reach.
Something I can't have
I can hear it.
Throb in my chest.
Through my entire
I feel like I need
Like I must have
The object of the
But, I am
The last time
I felt this.
My world crashed
The Hope I had.
The love I felt
For the last
Do I dare
To hope that
This is a
To lust for?
That's what every
That's what seems
To doom me
I focus else where.
To the sky,
The trees and
All I find is
To dispare over.
I can and will
I know this has been a dead journal for some time, but if I don't start writing again, I'm going to lose it. It's been a long time, and there's no point on catching people up on the really old stuff.
- I'm in Cross Country again, Ran my 2nd race this season today. (should have done better.) 3.1 miles in 27:46. Not bad, but I had something left. Could have pushed harder.
- People suck. Alot of people are turning thier backs on me it seems. Lots of people I care about don't speak to me any more. Lots of people I know and love are doing things that will only hurt them. I seem to be the only one to realize this too. Saddens me. And stresses me.
- I have some new friends that rock (however, see above bullet) For a while there I was the happiest I've ever been.
- I have kick ass classes this year. Honors English 11, Publications (AKA yearbook), AP (Advanced Placement. college level course) US History/CWP(current world problems)/Gov. , Chemistry, and AP Calc.
Between mainly those four things, I'm stressed beyond belief, and am going to implode. Thus the return to venting through writing.
I have a few things I'll be adding on here. I've writen in the last few days, and I figure I should write them here too.
Good to be back. =D
- Post 3 things you've done in your lifetime that you don't think anybody on your friends list has done.
- See if anybody else responds with "I've done that."
- Have your friends cut & paste this into their journal to see what unique things they've done in their life.
1. I have climbed a mountain and sat eating lunch with my legs dangling over a cliff. Good times!
2. When I was 6 months old, I lived in Japan until I was a year old. Shame I can't remember it.
3. A few years ago, I explained a lapdance to a friend, because he didn't know how they worked.
Top that! lol, Fun trying to think of something only I've done... and I don't know if it worked! >.<
Ohhh, ever notice how life can suck and be great at the same time... It's rather annoying and confusing.
So I'm going to my mom's here in the next few days, depending on when we finish the sewing of a tent. I am looking forward to running around to stores and to the movies and such. But then again...
Life has kind of punched me in the face of late. Which, I find less than entertaining. And something that really makes me feel crappy, is that quite a bit of that punch was earned by mio. I have brought some of it on myself.
Anyways, I'm sure I'll be on up at mom's and I'll write more stuff there, I have a few projects to get done while I'm there too. But right now, I should get ready for dinner.