Ailaya girl

New Journal.

This is now more or less a dead journal.

My new journal is AdriannaSunrise. I should be easy to find. Send me a message on there reminding me who you are and I'll add you.

Ailaya girl

Back again.

But not for long. I'm going to start something new. Anyone interested, just keep an eye on my page, I'll start a new account with some new goals pretty soon.

All the updates on life will be there.

This account has been dormant for too long. So I'm going to try again, with a new account and a big change.

Hope you'll ride this new road with me. =D

Ailaya girl

Oh my...

It's been almost a year since I've been on here.... I bet every one was wondering what in the world happened to me....

Sorry everyone. I'll try to do better, but there's no garenties. This is my senior year, so every one knows. ^.^

Ask me for other contact info if you want to. I'm on other sites more often, so it might be better to have it, if you don't already.

^.^  Guess I'm back again.
  • Current Mood
    tired tired
Ailaya girl


I haven't posted, but life has been hectic. I've not really kept up any where, well anyways.

My Cross Counrty is over, but the girls team got to State for the first time since 1993. 3 out of 5 people on the team were born that year. So that was cool.
Calculus is kicking me in the face, but not as badly as I thought it would... My jaw isn't broken yet, nor my nose.... So it must be going alright. Despite the grade I'm carrying in there. US History is also well. It's a really fun class, we talk about the news alot.
I'm doing better as a person. The estatic happiness I felt at the end of the summer was kinda killed when the source of all that vanished (kinda). But I'm less depressed now than I usually am, and my moods are balancing, less up and down.
I have re-renewed love of everything again. The sunset yesterday was fantastic, just absolutely beautiful. There will be an entire post deticated to it.

Anyways. I should get more sleep tonight, I got about half of what I should have last night, so maybe twice what I need will help out tonight.
  • Current Mood
    tired Yawny
Ailaya girl

(no subject)

I need to run,
But not just run
I need to get away.

I need to move
Until I can't anymore
And then run on.

Push through the
Pain, unbearable
But better than this.

This is crushing
No one gets it.

No one can see
What I see, I wish
I could loan my eyes.

Step into my skin.
Feel the implosion
Gaining ground.

I'm loosing it.
My hold on

I don't want to go back.
That deep dark place
Scares me.

What option do
I have though?

An empty shell.
I've been there.
Hollow. Dark.

The slow well
Of red along
The line.

I've been there,
At least
It's something.

People can see that.
People can feel that.
But not this. too hard.

No one
Gets this.

But why?
Ailaya girl

(no subject)

This is useless.
This painful Thrumming
Of my heart
For something
Utterly out of reach.
Something I can't have

Not yet.

I can hear it.
This painful
Throb in my chest.
Through my entire

Not yet.

I feel like I need
Like I must have
The object of the
But, I am

Not yet.

The last time
I felt this.
My world crashed
Around me.

Not yet.

The Hope I had.
The love I felt
For the last
So completely.

Not yet.

Do I dare
To hope that
This is a
Different thing
To lust for?
Do I?

Not yet.

Too quickly.
That's what every
Nerve screams.
That's what seems
To doom me

Not yet.

I focus else where.
To the sky,
The wind
The trees and

Not yet.

All I find is
To dispare over.
And yet.


I can and will

Ailaya girl

I'm back.

I know this has been a dead journal for some time, but if I don't start writing again, I'm going to lose it. It's been a long time, and there's no point on catching people up on the really old stuff.

- I'm in Cross Country again, Ran my 2nd race this season today. (should have done better.) 3.1 miles in 27:46. Not bad, but I had something left. Could have pushed harder.

- People suck. Alot of people are turning thier backs on me it seems. Lots of people I care about don't speak to me any more. Lots of people I know and love are doing things that will only hurt them. I seem to be the only one to realize this too. Saddens me. And stresses me.

- I have some new friends that rock (however, see above bullet) For a while there I was the happiest I've ever been.

- I have kick ass classes this year. Honors English 11, Publications (AKA yearbook), AP (Advanced Placement. college level course) US History/CWP(current world problems)/Gov. , Chemistry, and AP Calc.

Between mainly those four things, I'm stressed beyond belief, and am going to implode. Thus the return to venting through writing.

I have a few things I'll be adding on here. I've writen in the last few days, and I figure I should write them here too.

Good to be back. =D
Ailaya girl

Hehe, Snagged from a friend.

 The Challenge:

- Post 3 things you've done in your lifetime that you don't think anybody on your friends list has done.
- See if anybody else responds with "I've done that."
- Have your friends cut & paste this into their journal to see what unique things they've done in their life.

1. I have climbed a mountain and sat eating lunch with my legs dangling over a cliff. Good times!

2. When I was 6 months old, I lived in Japan until I was a year old. Shame I can't remember it.

3. A few years ago, I explained a lapdance to a friend, because he didn't know how they worked. 

Top that! lol, Fun trying to think of something only I've done... and I don't know if it worked! >.<
  • Current Mood
    giggly giggly
Ailaya girl


Ohhh, ever notice how life can suck and be great at the same time... It's rather annoying and confusing.

So I'm going to my mom's here in the next few days, depending on when we finish the sewing of a tent. I am looking forward to running around to stores and to the movies and such. But then again...

Life has kind of punched me in the face of late. Which, I find less than entertaining. And something that really makes me feel crappy, is that quite a bit of that punch was earned by mio. I have brought some of it on myself.

Anyways, I'm sure I'll be on up at mom's and I'll write more stuff there, I have a few projects to get done while I'm there too. But right now, I should get ready for dinner.

  • Current Mood
    tired tired
Ailaya girl


I'm back again, I haven't been on in I have no idea how long, but I just don't write much anymore.
I've been pretty good and I have a REALLY busy schedule next school year, I'm out for the summer now. Next year in school I have honors english 11, publications (yearbook), AP US history/CWP/Gov, Chemistry, Teacher's Assistant (Unless they changed it) and AP Calculus.
This summer I'm going to be running every which way, and in some ways, literally. So I'm not going to be on very offten. I wish it was different, but life's getting a little rushed. If anyone wants to keep in contact with me via e-mail and doesn't have my e-mail, then sent me a PM, and I'll get it to you.

I'm sick at the moment, have a stupid head cold again. I pulled some pretty good grades out of last year, but didn't get the 4.0 I wanted. I think I ended up with a 3.8 or so. That's alright, I just wanted a 4.0 before I got into the collage level stuff and my grade started dropping, kind of balance it out. But it didn't work... So.

I want you all to know that I care about you, and that I'm sorry that I'm not on here as often as I should be. I'll try and get on as often as I can, but no garentees.